The Niffler’s Lament.

In which the Niffler writes a letter to J.K. Rowling. Dear Joanne Kathleen… no wait, Newt says I have to call you Miss Rolling, like the rolling I do on a Saturday night upon my collection of cuff-links that sparkle shinily in the light and that Newt polishes nicely as long as there are always…

‘Fantastic Beasts 2’: imperfect, but worth the wait.

Fantastic Beasts : The Crimes of Grindelwald is a feast for the eyes and the heart. Unfortunately, even the best efforts of J.K. Rowling and some excellent acting from Johnny Depp and Zoë Kravitz cannot save this overly-busy sequel from a schlocky script and a plot more confusing than Father’s Day on Game of Thrones.

Queenie is not going to join Grindelwald; are you all insane?

While I’ve seen some pretty bonkers theories in my eighteen years in the Harry Potter fandom, I have never encountered anything more astounding than the cries of ‘Queenie will join Grindelwald’ that have been floating around since the release of the ‘Queenie versus Grindelwald’ trailer. This cannot be! How can this be? How can people think this?…

Apostle (2018) : Review

If the point of Apostle was to purge Dan Stevens of Downton Abbey, then it has more than succeeded. While boasting some fine mythology and disturbing reflections on mankind’s love for inflicting pain, Gareth Evans’ bonkers folk horror suffers from a weak script, a shoddy supporting cast, hideous violence, a lamentable lack of subtlety and the stupidest ending…

Holmes and Watson discuss ‘Holmes and Watson’.

‘To the man who loves art for its own sake,’ remarked Sherlock Holmes, tossing aside the advertisement sheet of the Daily Telegraph, ‘it is frequently in its least important and lowliest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived.’ ‘My dear friend, how can you say such a thing?’ I exclaimed with some surprise,…

Notes on the final ‘Fantastic Beasts 2’ trailer.

The final Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald trailer is here. Visually stunning, it pleasingly reinvents some awful clichés of cinematic dialogue, promises a subtle and maniacal performance from Johnny Depp and provides further, deeply-moving insight into the Dumbledore and Grindelwald dynamic. Unfortunately, it also leaves us with difficult questions that the film itself may not be able to answer, and that the Internet’s elephantine, erroneous accusations of racism may prevent us from asking in the first place.

‘Farewell, My Queen’ (2012): Review

Farewell, My Queen is maddening. It’s one of those films that has everything – a charismatic lead, a unique aesthetic, an interesting twist on the Marie Antoinette story that has the potential to reinvent it altogether – and then fails to do much with any of these things. The result is a mildly unconventional splash in a very large pond that creates a few ripples of mild, not-too-burning interest.

‘Augustine’ (2012) : Review

A harrowing portrait of mental illness displayed for the male gaze, this gothic psychological drama set in Victorian Paris is like plunging into a beautiful, mesmeric dream where the mad ultimately inherit the earth.